Queen of the Juggle

So I’m trying to help at my the boy’s school once a week for an hour to two hours.  I feel very fortunate that so far I’ve been able to do it.   My goal is to become a part of this new school since the boys will (as far as I know) be going to the school for their Elementary years.  We are coming from another school that offered full day kindergarten.

After arranging a time with their teacher I go head down to the copy room.  These copiers are old and rickety. There are 4 machines in this room. I am pretty stunned at the condition. I am looking at these behemoths and wondering if they are older than me.  I’m thoughtful for a moment because I remember working for the KPBSD in Soldotna as a receptionist in the late 80’s and I don’t think that any of those copiers ever had to create a master and then copy.  Anyway, these monster machines look intimidating.  After taking a deep breath I walk up and put the paper on the glass.  You would think that the paper loading would be pretty simple.  Well no.  On this old as dirt copier requires the paper in the center of the glass.  Then it needs to create a “master” that literally sprays ink on a sheet of something that looks like contact paper and then I have to hit the button again for the remaining number of copies.  I’m not sure if the master counts as one or not, but whatever.  I manage to fumble my way through several worksheet copies because there are other copiers in the room that have big signs above them “NO MORE THAN 18 COPIES AT A TIME”.  Well I break the rules because I am determined to get these copies made.  I mean really?  Does it have to be this complicated?  Anyway, you get the gist that I took far longer than needed to make copies.  Then I move on to the paper cutter.

The paper cutter is no better. Squeeeeeeak.  All the way down the blade squeaks.  Barely closes all the way and then clamps down.  I’m sure an experienced volunteer would have been laughing their butt off.  I get a few things done and move on.

Fast forward to the next week.  I am told the copiers/cutters in the teacher’s lounge are far better.  They also have this thing called an “Ellison” that is like a stamp that cuts uniform pictures.  I’ve never seen one before but it’s very cool and easy to use.  My copies are mostly working.  I’m feeling like I might just be able to get this.  Just maybe.

In walks a woman (we will call her L) with a stroller and a little one around two years old.  She is also obviously pregnant…very pregnant.  Not that it matters, just an observation.  She whips through and makes a gazillion copies in like 30 seconds.  Sherri is feeling inept again.  For this type A girl it kind of pissed me off.  Anyway, she turns to me and says “copy club”?  I told her I had never heard of it.  She tells me it’s the “trained” copier group and ONLY Copy Club is supposed to be using “the better copiers” in the teacher’s lounge.  So many thoughts were going through my head.  I say “I never knew of any Copy Club”.  L says “well we train people how to use the copiers and other equipment”. “Too many people who aren’t trained break the machines”.  My head is going nuts thinking things like “who IS this woman” and why do I care?  I finish my stack (as best I can) and go back to the classroom and share with the teacher that I’m happy to give my time, but will not be steamrolled by the Copy Club.  Mrs. M.  rolls her eyes.

I come back THE next week.  Go to the parent work room since I’m not allowed in the teacher’s lounge to make copies.   There are several people coming and going.  Of course the first copies I make jams the copier.  OMG.  What am I to do since I am not trained?  I open the dinosaur and know immediately that I’m in serious trouble.  Ink, round, lots of buttons to open things, error codes, arrrggghhh.  I am totally out of my league.  There is a woman, rather staunch looking, who is showing someone how to use the laminating machine.  She glances at me as I ask for help.  Another woman comes over to help.  Basically the “master” was jammed.  Ink everywhere. The 2nd woman was very helpful.  Staunch lady mumbles under her breath “you need to take training”.  “Have you taken training” she asks?  “No, I didn’t know that I had to and thought I could ask for help” I say a bit exasperated.  I’m thinking to myself that this is such bullshit.  I mean OH MY GOD, really?  I am seriously dealing with a clique of ladies who think they are better since they are part of the “Copy Club”.  I’ve had enough by now.  Back down to the classroom I go and cut stuff out because I cannot stand to look at these women.  They must not have enough to do.

After school I talk to Mrs. M again.  I tell her that I will not tolerate cliques and have no desire to spend my time fighting other parents to offer my time at school.  I don’t have to take the rudeness and unwillingness to help someone who is new to the school.  Mrs. M. is wonderful and says she’ll take care of it.  I said, as nicely as possible, that if not, I won’t be coming in.  It’s 1.5 hours out of my workday that I can give to a lot of other people/things.  I gather up the boys and head home.

I open my email and there’s an email from Mrs. M., who introduces me to C., the coordinator of volunteers.  After the into I figure gloves are off.  I fire off an email to C. and introduce myself and share my dissatisfaction of the other volunteers.  She responds that of course this isn’t tolerated and that they “welcome anyone who volunteers” (yeah, uh huh, right).  We arrange to meet up so that she herself can show me the ropes.  Um OK.  Basically they win and I must take the training.  Blech.  I hope that this is not a taste of what’s to come.

I wonder if I can join the PTA if I don’t take training first?  I know.  Catty.