Family – this is a long one



There has been so many events that have happened since I posted the homecoming of Gary on October 5. On October 11, 2007, my dad, Gary, suddenly passed away from a heart attack at Carson Tahoe Medical Center. He had been fighting bladder cancer and starting chemotherapy on October 9. He was struggling to breathe when the first treatment was almost done. Soon after he went to the E/R and went into the hospital. Things quickly went from bad to worse. Between 10/9 and 10/11 we were all informed that Gary’s cancer had spread to his lungs. Sadly, it was too much for his heart in addition to his diabetes. His passing was quick and very unexpected. After arriving in Reno as soon as I heard the news and could get a flight, my family and I went to Winnemucca to make arrangements and bury him. It is a difficult time for all of us, certainly for my mom. Oddly enough, his passing occurred 4 months to the day of his surgery to remove his bladder and the initial cancer. A favorite photo of my mom’s of my dad is posted above in his honor. There is so much I could say and stories I could share about how great my dad was. What I would like to say is that he was a wonderful man who loved his family and the outdoors. I will be forever grateful that my dad had been well enough to be in Las Vegas with us when the boys were born and could see them and hold them. I am sad that he won’t be here to pass on the his love of hunting and the outdoors himself to our boys, the rest of my family will pass that on in his honor and memory. I know that he is smiling down on our little miracles every day. October 25 would have been his 65th birthday. It was a hard day, but one we also celebrated his life. I’m happy to have had him in my life for almost 30 years. My life, I am certain would have turned out much differently had he not been a part of it. I think the rest of my family feels the same. I miss him dearly already, but am peaceful that he passed quickly and did not have to suffer through his cancer. He was not that kind of man. He would’ve rather have been enjoying his last days with my niece Tiffany, helping her shoot her first deer. Grandma and I took her out but didn’t see anything. A few days later her dad took her out and she did it! I’m sure grandpa was with her proudly smiling a huge smile from above! She got a buck, as she would not settle for a doe, knowing that Grandpa wanted a buck. She was ready and it was great that grandpa took her shooting just before he went back to Reno for treatment. None of us would have ever guessed that he wouldn’t come home.

My mom decided to come back to Vegas for awhile, so we have an additional hand to help us with these babies who keep us really busy! I drove back with her on Oct. 22 after helping close up her house and prepare to be away however long works for her. It must be bittersweet to move through the house, to feel his presence and know that he is gone, but yet there are the memories that my mom – all of us – will have forever in our hearts.

During the time I was in Winnemucca helping my family make arrangements, the boys were here with their dad. He and Christina took great care. Fred and Celia were here for a few days and lent a very much needed hand as well. Bunny came back out from Florida to help too. We can’t thank the Horton family enough for all the love and support they’ve give the Las Vegas McVeys and the rest of my family during this difficult time and before the babies to prepare. Christina and Chip are baby experts now! Nothing like trial by fire! We appreciate so much all the people who were here and are here to help and support us.

I was away for 11 days. Boy these babies GREW! I also missed the circumcision appointment, which was a relief to me. Chip, Bunny and Celia managed that task and did a fine job. 🙂 It’s so good to have people in our life that will step right up. Each boy is well over 6 lbs. now. All are doing so well, eating 4+ ounces at a feeding. Now we are trying to get them to sleep all night so we can get some sleep! Until then, my mom and Christina are doing morning duty and Chip and I are doing night duty. We get to bed at about 3 a.m. I feel fortunate to get 6 hours of sleep at a time. I wouldn’t change it for a minute! It truly takes all 4 of us to take care of these boys. Everyone does whatever needs to be done and do a great job.

I’ve realized with my dad’s death to rethink my priorities. It’s sad that it takes an event like this to push us to evaluate what is the most important. I find myself pondering what are my true passions? What makes me happy? What is best for my family? How can I both do and be better? It also makes me think of the simple things like taking more pictures. During making arrangements with my family for my dad’s funeral, putting together a memorial slide show, that I had very few pictures of my dad and I and no pictures of the girls and my dad. I was very sad when we chose the photos to put in, but Chip came to my rescue and looked through many old photos to find a few with me and dad. Luckily, there are some pictures of dad and the boys, even though in the pictures you can see that he didn’t feel well. I now am painfully aware of how important these simple things are. I also will try harder to tell those I love that I love them and show that better with my actions, despite being really hormonal after having the boys.

I went for my last check with my OB doctor and have been “cleared” as healing well after the delivery. There is still quite a big bruise on my belly. It looks much better than a month ago though. Good news for sure but he also reminded me that it will be probably a year before my body is completely recovered. It’s surprising because it seems like 7 weeks is so long ago, that I should be back to normal now. It’s easy to forget how much harder it is to recover from both a c-section and a multiple birth. The whole experience of the pregnancy and the birth has been surreal to say the least. I have mixed feelings when I reflect on it and it is noticeable in my emotions. Love, frustration, pain, happiness, relief and a little sad that it’s over. I am fighting some postpartum depression, but am also aware that I need to take care of myself and am taking appropriate action. Some people around me may disagree with me but all is OK for the time being.

Other than that, the other news is that I will need to go back to work on 11/9/07. I’m a little sad about that, but am grateful, no very thankful, that both Chip and I work from home. It is the best possible scenario that we could have with these little guys. Sounds like so far work is pretty flexible. Time will tell how it will be since our team has gained another market manager which is good! Not sure how much I’ll be able to travel so that will be a factor. We’ll see what the future holds.

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