I’m really proud of this video. Fun to do and hopefully fun to watch.
Love you all,
Sherri
Author: Sherri
Ben poops, our first trip to a restaurant for Gillian’s birthday during the girl’s spring break visit
4/10 – Ben poops in the tub….ewwwww! Whole family goes to Red Robin. The first time for all of us. Went well but was a lot of work. We celebrated Gillian’s 10th birthday. Had a little party with a couple of neighbor kids. It was hard because Gilli invited 7 and only 2 came. However, it’s spring break and kids are off and running. The break in Vegas is almost over. In any case, our trip was exhausting, but both Chip and I felt a good sense of success. It’s so cool to stand outside of Red Robin and hug a hug of success! No one really understands it, but it’s a strong bond between us and helps solidify our family values. Ryan was really scared at first and I held him and walked around the restaurant and talked to him. He definitely was afraid, but it only took a bit of time for him to at least try it out. It was so funny. They were all a bit scared in the car. Ryan’s eyes were like saucers…just didn’t know what to think. Gary was actually shaking. It’s odd to see, but we know it’s so good to get out. Especially with all of the kids…all 5 of them.
Kaitlyn came last Saturday for her break. Gillian had already been here for 2 weeks because of her track break. We’ve had a great time. Kaitlyn coming has been a bit more challenging, but we had a frank conversation about whether she wanted to be here and what the deal was. It was an interesting conversation because a lot of what was said in the conversation were things that were said by John in court. It was really good for us and the back half of the week has been much better than the first. Kaitlyn seems to be more open. It’s a very good thing! Progress, not perfection, right?
Speaking of progress…sometimes when you feel like you’re making a step or two forward you really aren’t? The next day after the confrontation with Kaitlyn, we found ourselves talking (Chip, mom and I) about the situation with John, Kaitlyn, the girls in general, etc. A point in the conversation it turned pretty tense. Mom had a lot to say and just was not saying it. Most things I felt were not what I thought and some of them we just have a strong difference of opinion. I still won’t give up on the girls….nope, won’t do it. Sometimes I think they’re easily dismissed. They are as relevant as anyone else. It’s just not easy. I wish I/we could do more for mom and I try so hard to give to everyone credit, my thankfulness and consideration. I’m in no way perfect, but felt that I was hopefully doing the right thing…some days I think so, others I don’t. Right now I feel like I’m hanging on by a fingernail….literally. Wine seems to help, but isn’t a great answer, but I really feel so stressed. Work is not great but it is what it is and we need it. Financially we’re barely making it, but are surviving. Being in Reno is hard. These choices are painful. I wonder if I made the right ones. That continues to follow me for sure. It’s the hardest thing to work through.
I took Wed. through Friday off due to the discussion with mom and Kaitlyn’s behavior. It was such a cluster! But today was pretty good…did laundry, made Gillian’s cake. prepared for her birthday, and took care of the boys. Long and busy day. Well worth every moment. Of course, the boys also needed a bath. They were just grubby! So I gave each one a bath. Gary first, he loved it since it had been awhile since he had bathed without his brothers. Anyway, Ben was last. He had gotten up late and was almost ready to nap. I had also changed the sheets in the boys room since they seem to wet through night diapers. What a busy day…anyway, I was going to the bathroom in our toilet room and I can see Ben. He’s standing now and from the toilet I tell him to sit down. The next thing I know he’s chucking something small out of the tub. I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out. So I finish my business and then try to figure out what he’s chucking out of the tub. Little did I know, but quickly figured out that he was tossing his own turds from the tub! I was mortified to see floaties in the tub. His hair and body had been washed. OMG. I took him out immediately and tried to sponge bath him in the sink. I hope it’s good enough. Then I used the boat tub toy to scoop out the rest of the turds. It was pretty gross to see floaties in with the tub toys. YUCK. Anyway, I cleaned him up and then the tub and toys were thrown into the tub with cleaner. Tub totally scrubbed down. It was just funny for sure to see him react. There seemed to be NOT EVEN a clue that he had crapped in the tub. It was funny and frustrating at the same time. Go Ben! He’ll be the kid to do it for sure. So there were a lot of things that happened today, but it’s all good. I’m sad the girls are leaving…they won’t be back until memorial Day. My mom wants us to bring the boys, but not sure. We’ll see if we can hang at Kristys. Maybe just visit for the day. We’ll see. More to come later….
Painful loss and hearing the decision
3/10 – Memories of the decision…even now, it’s no totally clear. The screaming items that are still so painful is that we pay, pay, pay. $1,320 a month child support. John gets to only go back 3 years for his child support arrears. We pay health insurance, we pay all travel,
On trial and the tragic state of the legal system
2/24 – I wanted to jot down some memories of court. It’s been 30 days to the day today. The mood is lighter but the pain runs deep. Not just for me, but for Chip too. We stayed at Deann and Carlos house. Surprisingly that morning of court I felt confident. A strange calm that had been far different from the November court date. We ate a McDonald’s breakfast and headed to the courthouse. We met with Chuck and went over some details. I asked a few insignificant questions that seemed important at the time. Up we went to court. John’s attorney was late…surprise surprise…NOT. Prokopius is such a slime. It was a good feeling to watch John sit there by himself. Finally, 20 min. late Prokopius showed. He said he was in another court with a “quick matter” at 8:30 that made him late. Whatever!!! We began with Chuck going first. He called John to testify and attempted to pick his financial irresponsibilities apart. John seemed unruffled as he said it was all left to his account. How convenient is that? John was composed. He said his concerns were my drinking…all the bottles on the curb for recycling…wow…nice that we have a conscience about the environment considering we are alcoholics….interesting. John said Gillian said I wasn’t throwing up as much. He talked about Fred and Celia being in our home and mom being a bad influence. He said I was erratic and not organized. He said that I didn’t give them what they needed. That Kaitlyn and I had a troubled relationship. That Kaitlyn didn’t want to come to Reno. Said I had a preference for Gillian. Prokopius didn’t ask any questions back. He reserved them for later in the afternoon. Diane D’Amore then appeared. She was so stupid. Said the same crap as her deposition. That so much of John’s unusual, warped past “wasn’t relevant”. We had to pay her 1k for 2 hours of working/waiting. That is the biggest racket ever. She has no problem taking people’s money. Unbelievable. It was great to hear that the girls would thrive and she repeatedly, without coaxing, said “I never said Sherri was a bad mother”. She admitted the girls would thrive either place. Basically her opinion was…it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Pathetic indeed. Chip then testified. Chuck questioned his role, his opinions and job situation. Chuck talked about our failed Quiznos and the financial ramifications of that. Prokopius asked a few questions back. The only one that was compelling was “who are you going home with?”, indicating that Chip would always side with me because he is my spouse. God, John’s lawyer is was slimy. After his testimony, Chip could stay and watch the rest of the proceedings. We had a quick lunch and then it was my turn. I answered questions calmly and tried to interject more than just yes or now. We were all over the map. Child support, the kid, my job, the boys…I evaded him well on the topic of the boys. Prokopius said he must be a handful. My reply was “we have a great support system”. Take that you jackass. I had no issues with John’s attorney. It was the judges line of questioning that made me feel insecure. She asked if I would split them up, what schedule I would want and why I did a few things. Although it made sense in my head, my answers seemed insecure, garbled, unsure. I was trying to communicate that I was up for negotiation and none of it came out right. I talked about John’s controlling ways…his making medical decisions without consulting me. His underhanded ways he’d do things to control me.
Ben says cookie and mom heads to Alaska
3/8 – Ben says cookie!!! The boys are doing great. 18 mos. old today. Time has certainly flown by. Mom went to Alaska for a couple of weeks to see Artis, whose cancer has spread to the lungs and possibly her bones. It was very spontaneous and only somewhat understandable. Based on the circumstances of Gary’s death she wants to see Artis alive. Very understandable. It’s also amazing to hear what she felt and saw there. People rolling their own cigarettes because they can’t afford them. Bodies that break down like Steve’s, preventing him from going up the stairs to bed. Meth eating away the lives of people who know no better. Sad really…she also saw tremendous beauty in the mountains, snow and the people she hadn’t seen in such a long time. She also, in my opinion kept the past the past by not going to Kasilof.
Fred and Celia were available to take over until mom came back which was good.
Gary’s first boo boo and figures out how to twirl in circles.
Yesterday 2/11, Gary was the first little guy to bleed. He bit his lip so hard! Blood everywhere. I was on my way home and coming in the door. Kristy was here this week watching the boys while mom went home and Benny had surgery. Chip and Kristy were beginning to get worried about the blood. By the time I got home he was screaming but the blood had slowed way down. Poor little guy. He got lots of extra love. He had a rough day. Today Gary was so happy when I got home. Jumped in my lap and then was laughing. He has a fat lip still and has his fingers in his mouth a lot. Maybe it’s the lip, maybe it’s new teeth. We’re not sure. Tonight he turned himself in circles until he was dizzy. I think he was chasing his shadow, but not totally sure. Of course he stopped and then just hobbled and fell from being dizzy. Mom, Chip and I laughed SO hard. It was great. Ryan and Ben seemed out of sorts today. Hopefully tomorrow will be good. Everyone has pooped a bunch since the other day, so hopefully we’re over that hump and can keep on organic milk.
The boys first trip to the park and fall in love with Little Einsteins
It’s been too long since we’ve jotted anything, so I’m going to try and recall the last month or so. Our Las Vegas deposition on 1/9 went very well. Leveled the playing field anyway. It’s nice that we finally just maybe get a break. We’ll see. Things the boys have done. They took their first trip to the park in Wingfield Springs on 1/26. The boys are so busy and interactive. They still love Little Einsteins. Now all the boys are getting more active and raising their arms to the blastoff and doing pat, pat, pat. Gary has had some constipation problems and we now know what to do…a regimen of Miralax daily or every other day. He’s doing much better. Gary’s also had some problems waking up in the night and screaming. I wonder why and since they can’t talk to us, it’s hard to tell other than limbs being stuck which, as far as we know, only happend once. The boys continue to try to talk. Gary is trying to say tractor. Gary is trying to say so many words. Ben and Ryan sometimes do and sometimes just play. Like everything else Gary has been first to do more. The other two, I’m sure will come around any time now. All of the boys continue to get more and more into books. Chip was looking at a book with them recently and made the “arf, arf” seal sound. The boys laughed so hard and Gary stuck his lips out and tried to do. SO CUTE. They running everywhere and discoverying so much. We’ve also had 2 baths in our big tub. Much less time individually, but I worry they don’t get enough alone time with us. It’s a weird dynamic–for me anyway. Ben is figuring out that he won’t be pushed around and in particular likes to bite Ryan. The last week has been brutal for Ryan. Ben needs to get over it. Poor Ryan has a couple of good sets of teeth marks on him. Ben continues to love his blanket and carries around the empty (or full) bottle. Our little Linus. Ryan is just climbing everything and wants to be everywhere he can get hurt. I’m finding that he also likes the cloud blanket in bed with him. He sleeps with it over his head. Celia made those soft blankets for the little guys. All the boys still love to be outside but are exploring more in the yard than just the playset. Mom, Chip or both of us take them outside almost every day and they love it. Especially watching the cars go by and seeing the birds and ducks. Chip even put Ryan and Ben on the tricycle. It was so funny to watch. The boys liked it, but can only touch the pedals when they are “up”. Kaitlyn and Gillian were here the first and third weekend in January. Now it’s been a long stretch in seeing them because of the two 3 day weekends. It’s hard, but I’m glad that they get to spend 3 day weekends. John continues to manipulate any way he can, especially when he can fly under the radar like not sending the GS cookie stuff in time. It does appear tho that John has been shorter on money this month. When we do get to chat with them it’s more chicken nuggets at home and renting movies. It just gets more interesting. Chip and I are trying to keep the organization stuff caught up. It’s not great, but hopefully a step forward. I’m getting our tax stuff together too. I’m hoping that after February we’ll get more of a breather financially and get a big return to help us jump ahead. I’m hoping too that Chip and I can get out a little more and spend some quality time together. Not sure how I can fit that in too.
Little boy update
With Sherri off to Vegas for the deposition in the ongoing custody case, that left Marlas and me to take care of the boys this evening. The boys all loved going outside this afternoon with their grandma, and the weather has been unusually warm to allow that. Gary has become all about books, always pointing to pictures in the books and wanting to know what they are. He recognizes in the books and can point to and say pretty well “ball”, “dog”, and “nana” (banana). Ben is still really into cars and Brie. She was sitting on the floor near them when they had dinner last night, and he looked at her, smiled, and started meowing! Ryan is now the leader in trying to bust out of the family room gate system. He’s getting very strong, and also showing a good interest with books along with anything mechanical, like the jack-in-the-box or the toy we got them where they can roll balls down a set of alternating planks.