Author: Sherri

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Rest of April

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My new company is an amazing company and I feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to work for them. I’m especially grateful that I was hired while pregnant and that the benefits package is so good that I do get 6 to 8 weeks paid leave. That’s so rare these days. However, the job continues to be a bit challenging. I think I’m realizing that the company is growing really fast and restructuring at the same time, which has put a lot on the account managers. I think the other element is that I’ve been doing the same thing for 10 years and this is totally different…sorta. Distribution, but all points of distribution for hotels. It’s really interesting to take it all in, but I find I am frustrated trying to remember all the processes and points that need to be touched in any given situation from a customer. From new hotels to using a highly customized version of SF.com, some days are really tough. Throw in an emotional pregnant lady and some days are SO not pretty. Some days have been exhausting. I also have a hard time working for this woman I report to. She seems to micromanage. Copy her on all emails? Lordy! be realistic!

I am finding that I’m becoming really bitter not seeing my family. Especially my mom and my sister. My sister seems to come and go to Reno and can’t find time to stop when she has no choice but to pass my exit every time she is in town. Chip tells me to let it go, but it’s not easy to know that we moved here for more support and it just hasn’t happened. Lately I understand about my mom not being here because she was hired as a temp for the census. I’m excited for her because I know she can do it and be an independent person. She has struggled since my dad passed. Struggled in every aspect. Hopefully this will be a long enough term to help get things in order. I often wish I could do more for her. It’s also a shame that when someone dies and doesn’t have insurance that basically if the spouse didn’t work that it’s very difficult. Of course any sort of assistance takes forever if you’re not in the system. It’s rough.

April also brought a very pleasant surprise. J.F.’s mom reached out to me. I was surprised and happy. A few years ago she reached out as well and I wasn’t ready and told her so. Now times are different, the girls are older and it’s a much better time and place to have J.F.’s family in my life and in the girl’s lives. They do need to know their family. To what extent I’m not sure yet, but they do need to know a select few. It has been really nice to begin to build a relationship. I’m not sure how to integrate this new relationship into the girl’s life, but we’ll find a way. It was surprising to hear the voice of support. For that I’m grateful. We’ll see how things go as we communicate more. That looks like it might be a very good thing!

The Present…The Family…

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It’s been very crazy and stressful on top of pregnancy. These posts are brief, but I want to be able to hit the high points. This blog is my “diary” of sorts. Things I want to remember, yet sometimes want to forget. I hope that in the future when things improve I can look back and be proud we made it through the situations.

4/08 – Kaitlyn and her asthma meds, hospital experience. Had to fly to Vegas, but could not get a flight until the next morning.

4/09 – Kaitlyn at Siena, transferred to Montevista. J.F. and I pull her out of Montevista. Nurses and quack doctor refuse to let us go. Nurses have had about 5 minutes with her and the doctor just “decided” that she shouldn’t leave. He indicated he would get CPS involved to come after us. We leave with Kaitlyn after the staff had told her we had left without even saying goodbye! Kaitlyn was “integrated” right away. It was a cold and somewhat uncontrolled place. It just seemed wrong and that it wasn’t the solution. It took a call and much political correctness to convince the chief of staff (Doctor) that we were OK to leave. We went “against the advice of the doctor” but we got the hell out. For once, despite our unspoken child support fight, J.F. and I came together to make the best decisions for Kaitlyn. I could not believe we were dealing with this situation. It worries me. I learn during this visit that J.F. and Kaitlyn are fighting all the time. Of course I was never clued in, but now it’s crisis and Kaitlyn won’t discuss it, but John has plenty to say about her potty mouth and defiance. Part of it is that she’s 14 and maybe she’s discovering that her dad isn’t full of the magic she once thought. Maybe it’s depression…yep, that’s it according to her dad and because I’ve fought it for half my life, it’s from me. He doesn’t come out and say this, but it’s very clear. I think…OK, whatever. The main issue is to help our daughter, whatever that may be.

I end up staying at J.F.’s house and overnighted, which was not my plan. I stayed in Gillian’s room, Gillian bunked with John and Kaitlyn in her room. I told both the girls that this was a rare occurrence for a specific reason and that I had no plans of getting back together with their dad. However, after spending the day with him and despite our coming together to help Kaitlyn, I realized (for the millionth time) why we were never good together and never should have been. We are such different people. I could go on for days about it, but I won’t. ‘Nuff said.

4/12 through 4/15 – Last trip before delivery to the Dallas office. Met Carrie for the first time. Still attempting to get a grip on all the processes and options for my Sabre customers as well as dealing with pregnancy brain. It was an exhausting 4 days, but so great to meet Kristin in person. I attached to her hip all week and she was WONDERFUL! I also spent a bit of time with Carrie chatting and that great. Connie is wonderful too. Also met Will and David. It’s a fabulous group and again, I’m so grateful to work at home and for a good company such as SHS. Not sure about my director. The micromanagement frustrating. I feel like it’s more of a peer relationship vs. director to manager. There’s a lot that bugs me about it. I’m not the only one. Our team has all expressed (to each other) our skepticism.

4/15 – Returned from Dallas to a notice from child support office notifying me of revoking of driver’s license. Due to lack of payment. Never mind the fact that the NV child support office indicated that they would be garnishing my wages, which they never did. Then I faxed the sheet back that notified of the drivers license revocation indicating I wanted a payment plan. They still have the amounts wrong. I also have faxed the schedule of payments that John had provided. I still cannot get my caseworker Ms. Carpenter to talk to me. It’s so frustrating. However, I am not excited about getting John involved and begging him to get the state off of my back. When it rains it pours…I swear to god!

4/20 – Our taxes are now late. We’ve discovered we’re facing a 6k tax bill due to “making too much money”. Thus we are unable to write off 16k in loss from the houses. It’s funny (not haha) that we seem to make so much money and we really have to think twice about ordering a pizza. We can’t even think of doing anything else. There just isn’t any extra money. None. Nada. It’s very depressing. We keep chugging along. We are revisiting the short sale option. Maybe it’s even bankruptcy. I don’t know. I’m not even sure where to begin to talk to someone. More worries…more worries.

March is OUTTA HERE! 29 Weeks and counting!

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What a month it has been. I’m certain that I just saw March coming in. It seems like it just got here and now I’m not sure where it’s gone.

I think in this blog post I’ll work backwards. Today I had my 7 month appointment. I’ve gained 14 lbs. total, which is good. I’d like to not go over 15lbs, but that’s what happens when I eat cupcakes. The sugar is just undeniable! Anyway, baby is doing great. Strong heartbeat and very uneventful appointment. The best part was that we are scheduled for a c-section on June 7. YAY!

Beginning of February – New beginnings

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February 1 through 14
Brandi started with us full time on Feb. 1. All has gone well so far. She seems to be hapy and we’re happy to have her. It’s wonderful to find a young person who has some ambition and common sense. She’s really enjoying getting outside with the boys when the weather cooperates. They lay down really well for her too. Certainly better than Chip and I!

All is good with Synxis. More training. Verdict still out on my new boss, so we’ll see. Accounts are now being turned over. Starting tomorrow we should be moving forward with me handling them. Going to Dallas for the customer forum and to start meeting people the week of Feb. 22. That will be good for everyone!

Girls arrived on 2/12. It’s always fast and furious. Kaitlyn really wants to come here for high school and her dad is full of resistance. I have heard so much that doesn’t surprise me. My advice and requirements to Kaitlyn were a). Commit for at least a year and b). I’ll help you with anything you need, but you need to be painfully honest or it won’t work. Her dad is now taking her to a psychologist which I’m sure will be a fight until the bitter end for me to get information. I will keep trying though. It’s very difficult when her dad’s history has been to be so controlling. Nothing much has changed there. It’s unfortunate, because all th rest of us pay the price. I predict that we’ll be in front of our judge again for Kaitlyn to talk about where she wants to be. I just want her to be happy.

Child support has started this month. I admit, I’m exceptionally bitter since John got off scott free for 5 1/2 years due to my generosity. Hopefully karma will continue to be good to me. However, it isn’t starting well with him “deciding” (and yes, he can really do that) to garnish my wages, even if I have no history of non-payment. That means we have to run all payments through the court system and continue to have them involved. All because he just can. The hardest part for me is that I’m not fighting him on anything. Not fighting back, not being horrible about it. In fact, I’m probably still not being anal enough about times, visits, calls, etc. I just don’t have a guilty conscience. Just like I don’t have trust issues in my new marriage after the 7 affairs in 6 years that my ex-husband had. I just OK with most things that make sense to me. What does not make one bit of sense is that while I have been nice, accommodating and lenient, I have paid the price both financially and emotionally with losing almost everything as it relates to the girls. It’s a tough, bitter pill to swallow. I just hope and pray that karma stays in my corner. I’m attempting to write their dad a letter and ask him to work directly with me on child support, but I expect that will fall on deaf ears. It’s really beyond sad for me.

On a much more positive note, today is Valentines Day. The 9th that Chip and I have spent together. Today it is filled with kid stuff which is fine with me. There is amazing joy in this house when we’re here with ALL of our kids. Each day we’re together is a gift. Everyone, whether we’re doing something together or the kids are doing their own thing, feels the harmony I think. It makes me feel complete. At this moment, behind me I hear Chip playing games on the Leapster with Ryan and he is squealing with joy. Gillian is talking to herself and playing with her Webkinz on the computer. Kaitlyn is on the sofa and has Gary on her lap. Ben is next to daddy and acting like the little engineer I predict he will become. Me and the sprout are blogging and sharing coffee this morning. It’s still a struggle with this pregnancy for me. Tired, tired, tired. It’s all good because the little guy is healthy. We’re working on names right now. We like Patrick and I really like Carter (Chip isn’t all onboard with that one). Sean was on the list, but I don’t like how it sounds. We’ll see. We’ve got time.

Later today the girls and I will make chocolate covered strawberries to celebrate Valentines day. Gillian and Kaitlyn also asked to go geocaching with Chip. I’m so happy that the girls love him so much. He’s very good to them and I’m proud of that. Very proud. Perhaps it’s just one of those days, I don’t know. I feel an amazing amount of love and gratitude today.

End of January/Very begin of Feb. – Baby thoughts and struggles

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It’s a new month. Little boy in the tummy is moving around more and more each day. I’m craving so many sweets, carbs and cheese. It’s really weird. Tired all the time. This pregnancy is hard and taxing. I’m not sure why. The doctors says it’s because I’m almost 38, work full time and have three 2 1/2 yr. olds. Hmmm. Maybe he has a point. Still not connecting with him. (January 25)

I’m constantly concerned with my weight. I had plenty to start with and struggle with sugar cravings. For all I do and have done to be an advocate for whole organic food, I’m sure not living it with my indulgence in Peeps, Rice Crispy treats and cheeseburgers. Just not good. I’ll continue to fight it. Maybe there’s some deep seated guilt or something going on in my mind that I just haven’t figured out yet.

Belly is popping out, I’m averaging about 8 lbs. of weight gain since the beginning. I’d like to stay at 10lbs, but will probably be more at the 15 lb. mark. That will be plenty I think. In order to do that, I’ll refer to my earlier comments…I need to get OFF the sugar train. I’m sure I’d feel better too. Add a bit of walking and I’d have it made. Time for action, but the energy is sure lacking.

I’ve also stayed on my the depression medication the longest with this pregnancy. I’m not sure why that is. I have a few theories….this was a surprise…there’s so much more stress in my life…and there’s more I suppose. I’m conflicted as to whether to take better care of baby and quit or just do the right thing for me. I really need to give that more thought.

I’ve ordered a crib, a bouncer and a swing. Makes me wonder why I gave away all the stuff we had. Oh, I don’t know…maybe because I thought we were done? Probably! Any way it will be fine. I think we’ll turn grandma’s room into baby room and then I hope to turn the loft into our office and make our old office a guest room. We’ll see. The finances aren’t there right now. I’m still stirring the pot with new online businesses to make more money, but again…energy isn’t there, but I’m working on it. I think I’m my own biggest critic. Actually I know I am.

Until next time…

End of January – Little boys growing up

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I can’t believe how fast these little guys are growing!

We have a new ritual…Watching the Disney movie “Cars”. The boys just love it. I was as surprised as anyone that they actually are interested in it. One evening we took out “couchbed” and I made a batch of popcorn! HOLY COW! They loved it. Had a fantastic time. So did mommy and daddy. We finished the movie after they went to bed. It was too funny. Our first family time. It’s wonderful. I love it.

All the little guys are using semi-full sentences. Like “Watch Teletubbies” from Ben and “Daddy do it” from Gary and RyRy still talks the most “Uh-Oh phone”. “Ready eat” is pretty common from both Ben and Ryan. Gary tends to drag out his words adding more syllables.

Ben is far more out of his shell, talks some. Ben tends to cry more to communicate his wants or speaks in one or two words. He LOVES the Leapster game and they all really fight over it. They also like our old cell phones. Gary and Ryan fight and “trade” often. Gary and Ryan also use the phones and say “Take a picture”. Ryan also says “Get up” and both Gary and Ryan say “Open gate” and “Go outside”.

All of the boys are sitting at the table with no trays and eating with utensils a good amount of the time. Ryan and Gary LOVE Bacon and meats. Ben on the other hand is our carb boy. All of them like corn, Pirate’s Booty, Cheetos and hot dogs. Mac and Cheese is a fave too along with any pasta with red sauce. We’ve graduated from sippy cups with handles to “new cups” and plastic plates with Monkeys on them. We still had a few from when Kaitlyn and Gillian were little, so on occasion they eat off of a Barbie or Power Puff Girl plate. I don’t think it will cause too much damage.

As for movies, they still like shapes, but are really into Teletubbies and watching YouTube videos while we eat. They like Laurie Berkner “5 days old” and “Family”. They hear it so often, they like to even sing along. Gary loves to have “iPod on”. All the boys love their sister’s when they’re here. They tell the girls “come in Gill Gill” or “KK do it”.

Gary is obsessed with accessories. He loves glasses and shoes. We joke often that maybe he’ll be a fashion designer…

Ryan is still very particular about clothes. He still loves stripes and red. Bat shirt is less now. Sometimes it’s not fun when he doesn’t like what he has to choose from, but we make it through some morning fits to get him dressed.

All 3 boys have had trouble over the last 6 months at least with constipation. That seems to be going away. Thank goodness! I was beginning to think we needed to buy stock in the Miralax company.

Video of singing and popcorn eating…along with images.

5 Month OB Checkup

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Big day today! 5 month check up. Still not crazy about the doc, but its OK.

We had a huge ultrasound today. We are having a boy! Great pictures for the file for sure! The appointment took about 1 hour. So much different from the triplets. Chip thinks it’s because we aren’t “special”. Maybe. This pregnancy is so different.

There is so much that is different. Different place, different time. However, it feels colder. I don’t know what to make of it really. We came home and told mom first. Then we posted on Facebook. (Five years from now I’ll look back at this blog and go OMG…I can’t believe it was just FB then. LOL).