Tag: husband

15 Years and Counting

Today was the day that Chip and I celebrated 15 years ago that we had initial contact.  I say this because it would be at least a week or two later that we would even be able to have a date.

I had put a profile up on Yahoo personals because I really didn’t know what else to do.  I had these two little girls and a full time job.  I had no interest in finding someone in a club, nor was there anyone at work that really struck me.  There was also no goodness to come in dating someone from work.  My goal was to meet someone and see what happens.  There is so much craziness in Vegas that you don’t just go hang out at a bar and see if you meet someone.

I had dated a really nice guy from Michigan for a few months that I met at Yahoo.  He was a sports loving writer.  We had a good time and enjoyed each other’s company, but I think we both knew it was nothing long term.  He never met the girls and that didn’t seem uncomfortable to either of us.  B moved back to Michigan and although sad, I tried to move forward.  Forward to have someone in my life to share it with.  Then along came a message that would change the game.

Chip may not want me to share, but this was his first message to me:

Mon Oct 16 2000  03:34
Hi slpfrihse,

Yes, I think I am up for the challenge. Your ad made me chuckle. 🙂 Anyway, I think you described me to a T.

Let me give you the straight stats first: I am 28, 6’1″ tall, 195 pounds, brown hair, a full-time professional, graduate school education, homeowner.

And a little more:
I like to stay in shape, and work out regularly (usually 3 or 4 times per week). I’m not a he-man, muscle man, gym rat, or anything though… I am an avid hiker, going to the usual places around here: Mt Charleston, Red Rock, the Wetlands Park, etc. I also like to play tennis and racquetball, although I haven’t had a chance to play since moving to the area in January. I love cycling too – used to ride quite a bit in Oregon, but haven’t had the right company here yet to make it worthwhile here.

I love going out to restaurants, the movies, and taking weekend trips to scenic places. I don’t smoke, don’t gamble, don’t do drugs, don’t chew, and drink only occaisionally, always limited to a microbrew or two at a time. I also like to spend quality time at home
cuddling in front of a fire, talking, watching DVDs & making popcorn – being romantic in general 😉 I’ve been known to bring flowers often, and I’m just hoping to find a woman who’s going to appreciate the little touches of romance like that! 🙂

So heck yeah, I can love and cut loose and show my romantic and sensitive side. Now I’m just hoping I can find a woman who can appreciate it! Is that you? It sounds like it might be… 🙂

I’m a good conversationalist and I’m told I have a good sense of humor – I like to laugh and smile. I’m often complimented by women on my smile – I’m hoping that’s a good thing! 😉 I’m not much into dancing, but maybe that’s because I haven’t met the right woman yet
to make dancing fun.

I am a cat person – I have two cats that I spoil rotten, but they are very playful and great fun, not loaf around the house fat cats…

I listen to all kinds of music, although I don’t care for rap very much. I’m not a couch potato – I hardly watch TV at all, unless it’s to watch a movie. I do follow football and hockey, but I don’t let it dominate my weekends like some guys might, so don’t worry about that… And I don’t mind treking around the mall – it’s actually pretty fun if the company is right!

I guess to sum it all up, I am a good, honest, open, intelligent, professional, romantic, fun-to-be-with man that wants to share his life, feelings, and love with a similar woman. I am looking for a partner, the other half as you put it, and I am tired of immature, phoney, plastic women that lie and cheat in a relationship. I hope you decide to write back to me – it sounds like we’re looking for similar things and have a lot in common!’

And from there it went.  Yesterday I posted the following on FB.

It was 15 years ago today that yahoo personals brought me a reply to my posting that would change my life forever. Back in the day when it was free to list, this broken and a little bit bitter single mother received a message in my inbox from a gentle man who had as many convictions as I did. Whether it was sports, having a good time, music, passion or nerdiness. There was something about that message that took me in. I was scared to say I had kiddos, but did it anyway. He had hesitation but did it anyway. It would be almost 2 weeks until we would meet in person, but dayam we had amazing email and phone call marathons. By the time we met he knew I didn’t need a baby OR a sugar daddy. The attached song was an anthem of sorts for us because we were (are) both nerdy and met on the “internets”. I love this man more than I ever thought I could. We’ve done more together than I ever fathomed I would do alone, let alone with the person who is my soulmate. Neither of us are without flaws. I have bigger thighs than ever and have not even 1 college degree to his multiple, but he loves me crazy amounts anyway. We are us. We are meant to be.

A taste of the good, great, bad and ugly…
– were recovering from a shitty thing called divorce
– great travel to places East and West we never thought we’d see
– bought homes
– had foreclosures
– bought a business
– had failed businesses
– made it through infertility
– are raising multiples
– lost loved ones
– have seen blessings be born
– shared live music that we love
– have seen our gardens grow
– been unemployed

I could list so much more…I am blessed beyond belief. No matter what. My heart is full. Even on a hard day I’m grateful to the universe for bringing me my Chip. A Maryland boy for this Alaska girl. A beautiful heart that I get to be next to for the rest of this life. I love you dear…with all that I am. Cheers to many, many more.

This is how I really feel.  I am beyond lucky.  There is nothing that I’ve held back from this man.  Good, bad and ugly.  Sometimes it has been ugly because I don’t have the most impressive track record.  I have an interesting family life with my extended family.  I have weird baggage.  I married someone I should not have simply because I was pregnant the first time around.  Not a good decision on my part.

The above description was the man I met for sure.  Some days I feel life I’ve drug him down  and not let him live his potential.  Other times it is justified by this everyday life we have with lots of kiddos.  Who knows.  Regardless, I’m a lucky woman to have him.  We’ve endured a ton and I’m ready for the next 15 years and more.  Absolutely.  Without question.