Category: Hard Stuff

Divorce, court battles, and the hard years — told honestly.

Queen of the Juggle > Hard Stuff

15 Years and Counting

Posted on by Sherri

Today was the day that Chip and I celebrated 15 years ago that we had initial contact.  I say this because it would be at least a week or two later that we would even be able to have a date.

I had put a profile up on Yahoo personals because I really didn’t know what else to do.  I had these two little girls and a full time job.  I had no interest in finding someone in a club, nor was there anyone at work that really struck me.  There was also no goodness to come in dating someone from work.  My goal was to meet someone and see what happens.  There is so much craziness in Vegas that you don’t just go hang out at a bar and see if you meet someone.

I had dated a really nice guy from Michigan for a few months that I met at Yahoo.  He was a sports loving writer.  We had a good time and enjoyed each other’s company, but I think we both knew it was nothing long term.  He never met the girls and that didn’t seem uncomfortable to either of us.  B moved back to Michigan and although sad, I tried to move forward.  Forward to have someone in my life to share it with.  Then along came a message that would change the game.

Chip may not want me to share, but this was his first message to me:

Mon Oct 16 2000  03:34
Hi slpfrihse,

Yes, I think I am up for the challenge. Your ad made me chuckle. 🙂 Anyway, I think you described me to a T.

Let me give you the straight stats first: I am 28, 6’1″ tall, 195 pounds, brown hair, a full-time professional, graduate school education, homeowner.

And a little more:
I like to stay in shape, and work out regularly (usually 3 or 4 times per week). I’m not a he-man, muscle man, gym rat, or anything though… I am an avid hiker, going to the usual places around here: Mt Charleston, Red Rock, the Wetlands Park, etc. I also like to play tennis and racquetball, although I haven’t had a chance to play since moving to the area in January. I love cycling too – used to ride quite a bit in Oregon, but haven’t had the right company here yet to make it worthwhile here.

I love going out to restaurants, the movies, and taking weekend trips to scenic places. I don’t smoke, don’t gamble, don’t do drugs, don’t chew, and drink only occaisionally, always limited to a microbrew or two at a time. I also like to spend quality time at home
cuddling in front of a fire, talking, watching DVDs & making popcorn – being romantic in general 😉 I’ve been known to bring flowers often, and I’m just hoping to find a woman who’s going to appreciate the little touches of romance like that! 🙂

So heck yeah, I can love and cut loose and show my romantic and sensitive side. Now I’m just hoping I can find a woman who can appreciate it! Is that you? It sounds like it might be… 🙂

I’m a good conversationalist and I’m told I have a good sense of humor – I like to laugh and smile. I’m often complimented by women on my smile – I’m hoping that’s a good thing! 😉 I’m not much into dancing, but maybe that’s because I haven’t met the right woman yet
to make dancing fun.

I am a cat person – I have two cats that I spoil rotten, but they are very playful and great fun, not loaf around the house fat cats…

I listen to all kinds of music, although I don’t care for rap very much. I’m not a couch potato – I hardly watch TV at all, unless it’s to watch a movie. I do follow football and hockey, but I don’t let it dominate my weekends like some guys might, so don’t worry about that… And I don’t mind treking around the mall – it’s actually pretty fun if the company is right!

I guess to sum it all up, I am a good, honest, open, intelligent, professional, romantic, fun-to-be-with man that wants to share his life, feelings, and love with a similar woman. I am looking for a partner, the other half as you put it, and I am tired of immature, phoney, plastic women that lie and cheat in a relationship. I hope you decide to write back to me – it sounds like we’re looking for similar things and have a lot in common!’

And from there it went.  Yesterday I posted the following on FB.

It was 15 years ago today that yahoo personals brought me a reply to my posting that would change my life forever. Back in the day when it was free to list, this broken and a little bit bitter single mother received a message in my inbox from a gentle man who had as many convictions as I did. Whether it was sports, having a good time, music, passion or nerdiness. There was something about that message that took me in. I was scared to say I had kiddos, but did it anyway. He had hesitation but did it anyway. It would be almost 2 weeks until we would meet in person, but dayam we had amazing email and phone call marathons. By the time we met he knew I didn’t need a baby OR a sugar daddy. The attached song was an anthem of sorts for us because we were (are) both nerdy and met on the “internets”. I love this man more than I ever thought I could. We’ve done more together than I ever fathomed I would do alone, let alone with the person who is my soulmate. Neither of us are without flaws. I have bigger thighs than ever and have not even 1 college degree to his multiple, but he loves me crazy amounts anyway. We are us. We are meant to be.

A taste of the good, great, bad and ugly…
– were recovering from a shitty thing called divorce
– great travel to places East and West we never thought we’d see
– bought homes
– had foreclosures
– bought a business
– had failed businesses
– made it through infertility
– are raising multiples
– lost loved ones
– have seen blessings be born
– shared live music that we love
– have seen our gardens grow
– been unemployed

I could list so much more…I am blessed beyond belief. No matter what. My heart is full. Even on a hard day I’m grateful to the universe for bringing me my Chip. A Maryland boy for this Alaska girl. A beautiful heart that I get to be next to for the rest of this life. I love you dear…with all that I am. Cheers to many, many more.

This is how I really feel.  I am beyond lucky.  There is nothing that I’ve held back from this man.  Good, bad and ugly.  Sometimes it has been ugly because I don’t have the most impressive track record.  I have an interesting family life with my extended family.  I have weird baggage.  I married someone I should not have simply because I was pregnant the first time around.  Not a good decision on my part.

The above description was the man I met for sure.  Some days I feel life I’ve drug him down  and not let him live his potential.  Other times it is justified by this everyday life we have with lots of kiddos.  Who knows.  Regardless, I’m a lucky woman to have him.  We’ve endured a ton and I’m ready for the next 15 years and more.  Absolutely.  Without question.

 

Getting our vaca on, part 1

Posted on by Sherri

So here we are…a long time later.  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted for sure.  I’m still juggling along.  Doing so many things.  Work, home, school, boys.  Daily stuff.  I guess what that really means is that I haven’t been a very good Queen of the Juggle! Finally, we are going on VACATION!  Yay! After almost a year under our belt with the Jazz trailer, we figure we’ve got this stuff figured out.  We thought we’d go see my sister in Central WA, friends in Eastern WA, and then back down to home.  A long, long way on roads that we’ve never driven on before.   The day before we were going to leave, Chip has an epiphany and looks at the numbers and says “hey, it’s gonna cost a lot for gas and how often do we want to hitch and unhitch”?  I though “um, we just do”?  Well, yeah, no. Then Chip brought up a fabulous idea of staying at tent camp locations and really roughing it.  Because he has great ideas and yep, I’ve tent camped before, I totally bought in.  Well, I didn’t really remember how easy my parents made it for me and how they made it look super easy.

Well, yeah, no.  Not when you have 5 kids with you and a husband that has never done it.  Not that I’m an expert, but having been the only one with camping experience, it was a little bit crazy to take on this idea. Gillian and I had camped when she was much younger as a brownie/girl scout.  Somehow she didn’t remember much, which I thought was odd, because we had a really fun time. Well, we are preparing for our summer vaca, day one.  As usual, the day job takes a lot out of me.  Hubs for sure. He was crazy nuts about getting ready.

He’s so awesome, loaded up all of everything that we needed.  Loaded it all into our minivan.  Man, that had to be quite the job!  Especially since this change of plan was sudden.  Thinking we are taking the trailer our big truckand the Jazz trailer were already out at my mom’s in Winnemucca.  That meant that we had to take all of the gear and 7 of us in our minivan.  Whoa!  That was an incredible juggle in itself.  My husband, the best in the world, did all of the packing, toting and loading.

IMG_2775

Then he began to prodding me… I was juggling as much as I could the day we left.  My plan was to leave early, but that wasn’t to be.  Since work is crazy to the last minute and has been for quite some time, which is beyond brutal for me.  Juggling vacation prep and planning along with a full time job is ROUGH!  Especially when you’re dealing with unhappy customers, who, I guess, don’t think you have feelings or that you are a human being just like they are.  Since we have one person out on maternity leave, one leaving, an open position and me going on vacation, my team is stretched pretty thin.  It’s really hard to look forward to vacation when the stress is so high and I know it is going to be a) ugly for those that are backing me up and b) ugly for me when I get back.  Just thinking about it causes me angst and stress.  Which is another reason I desperately need this vacation.  I need distraction.  My world of juggling is in a bad, bad, place.  10 hour days for months on end are not healthy. Chip finally forced me out of my chair and clutches of the work laptop to head out Winnemucca way.  We arrived about 3 hours later than planned and then of course I had to do some more work.  I managed to do some and then just finally quit.

We slept in the trailer and as I fell asleep I wondered if this tent camp, house surf vaca would work.  We will see!  Well, if nothing else it would be an adventure!

IMG_2776

The rat strikes again…and again…and again.

Posted on by Sherri

Letters from child support office.  Wage garnishment happens.  Over $600 per paycheck.  No one can agree on the arrears amount.

Another jackass email from the rat.  Rat sends spreadsheet of owed amount.  It’s of course WRONG. 

Get a letter from child support office that they will report that I owe 10K to the credit reporting agencies.  Another letter arrives from the same office indicating that since I owe $9000.00 plus they will be taking any tax refund.  I figure I owe $3000.00 or less.  The caseworker says I owe about $6000.  Now…that said, who the hell at their office can agree on the amount.  Rat won’t agree to the amount because he’s a control freak.

I married a RAT…the first time around!

Posted on by Sherri

This post is long and full of bitterness….

Basically, my ex called the state to collect child support because I didn’t respond fast enough to his inquiries…he never put a time limit, but that didn’t enter into the conversation.  I shouldn’t be surprised because that’s how he operates.  However, as of July 6, my drivers license will be revoked.

This is an email string between my rat ex and myself regarding child support.  The carroted statements are by him and you can see the interjection of my comments in between…it’s a rough cut of the emails.  First piece is my initial email to him and the 2nd piece is his response and then I interjected thoughts that I responded back to him with.

 

; —–Original Message—–
From: Sherri Mcvey [mailto:sherri@metaforge.net] Sent: Friday, June 18, 2010 4:44 PM
 To: J.F.
Subject: Child Support

 J.,

We need to have a discussion about the child support.  I’m about to outline a couple of items and I would hope that you would think back to my own generosity to you over the years, especially considering the money that you still owe me and that you did not pay child support for so long.

Here’s the situation…
1.  I don’t understand why you wouldn’t work with me directly and that you would involve the state in our business, especially regarding child support.  There is absolutely no good reason for this and frankly has held up so many things.  However, since you have, if I pay you, according to the paperwork that I received, my payments won’t count.

 2.  I have responded to all the paperwork by the state asking for a payment plan and yet, on July 6, they will revoke my driver’s license due to lack of payment.  I also responded to the wage garnishment, which is totally ridiculous but if that makes you happy, then fine, but as you will see below, there are other items to be addressed.  Consequently, I did get the notification of wage garnishment, however, no garnish has ever occurred.  The state has all of my employer info, so this should not be an issue.   Besides that my attorney said all they have to do is pull up my social security number and they can access anything they want.  I have faxed all the information and yet, no one will call me back from the state.  I just get nasty letters about what I haven’t done, which is not true.  Again, you didn’t work with me, so my choices are very limited.
3.  I cannot afford to pay you the amount.  Even though it’s none of your business, our homes are going into foreclosure.  We will try to short sell them, but with the Vegas economy, I feel as though it won’t work.  I would hope that you and I could come to an agreement that works for everyone without involving the state.  If I could even pay you the full amount, the result would be that I cannot afford to fly the girls here and certainly we could not afford to do much while they were here.  Right now, which, from my perspective is not the case for you, we have to think twice about ordering a pizza let alone trying to do something with the girls.  They want to kayak this summer and I need to figure out a way that I can do it.  All that said, if we can come to an agreement, we would set up an automatic bill pay to you.
> These are just the facts John.  All of this has been unfortunate.  I’m doing the best I can and will be more than happy to try to work something out.  However, if my driver’s license gets revoked, even after I have requested a payment plan via fax (which I’d be happy to supply to you) I would like you to explain why to the girls.  You’ll need to explain to them why Chip will be picking them up and taking them to the airport when I have done my due diligence to correct the situation with the state.  Furthermore, if I can’t drive, that impacts my job, which doesn’t help the situation either.
In addition, if at all possible due to costs, I would not like to have to involve attorneys other than basic items or writing up paperwork.  I simply can’t afford to spend any more money.
I also received your bankruptcy information as did Chip.  Why were both of us notified?
Please respond to this email in the next 5 days if possible with information about the state and/or your response.
Thanks
 

J.F. wrote:
June 22, 2010

Sherri,
This letter is in response to your June 18, 2010 email about child support.You start by reminding me of your generosity over the years including a loan
that you made to me and that I did not pay child support “for so long”.   I
don’t think rehashing the past is generally productive, except, of course
that I do try to dwell on the good things you have done for me. That helps
me foster cordial feelings towards you so that we can more easily work together as good parents whose primary goal is the welfare of our daughters.I assume you do much the same.
  
My feedback…
The only reason I have any sort of connection to you is because of our daughters. I’m certain you’re choosing to ignore/not rehash the past. Perhaps it’s because you selectively remember things and it would require you to face the fact that I was generous and took the high road every time and DID NOT involve the state in our matters. Maybe that’s just hard for you to remember because you have no inclination to do anything nice or good for me and was very quick to involve the state.

J.F.’:
In any case, I gratefully acknowledge that you have at times been generous to me and I also For example, at the time of our divorce, I willingly agreed to pay all of your expenses for 2 years including all costs for a nearly new car that we had just purchased and all of your rent and utilities even though my attorney told me I need not, in fact should not, agree to such terms. When you moved to Reno, you took me to family court asking not only for full custody of our girls but also for repayment of arrears child support and the loan you made me.  

My feedback…
I thought you didn’t want to rehash the past. Hmmm. You bought your way out of the marriage. Pure and simple. Your choice. You were probably distracted with your sexual relationship with Jennifer. Its not my fault that you didn’t follow your attorney’s advice. Besides, it bought you a way to keep the business and the house. Don’t forget those important details too. If you are still hung up on that, that sounds like your harbor quite ill feelings for me. You made the offer and I accepted. Little do people know who they are dealing with. I took you to family court because just as we went to mediation in the past, you are completely closed minded to anything but what JOHN wants. No matter how it impacts anyone else. That was clear from the first conversation that we had about where the girls would be that you were very unwilling to negotiate anything.

J.F.:
With the court order of March 10, 2009 any previous child support, insurance requests, etc. have been settled. You were awarded 18 months of the back child support you asked for.  Said back child support that I owe was to be reduced by the monthly child support you owe me until my 18 months of back support were paid in full. That back child support I owed you was paid off during the first week of April 2010. The loan you made to me was not
included in that court order because you did not present data to support it.

My feedback…
The courts are charging me all the way back to January the full amount. If I could possibly get anyone on the phone perhaps I could correct that. I have sent a fax, but again no answer. Clearly you’re saying this isn’t your problem, but it really is. Until it gets straightened out so I can begin making some sort of payment (even though the child support office wants the full amount), you don’t get paid. All I want is corrected numbers and clear answers. I was hopeful that you would be nice and work with me on the amount. My fault for again trying to work things out amicably.

J.F.:
In regards to your Item 1:    You say that you wish that I would have contacted you directly about the child support you own me and not involved “the state in our business”.   I did contact you directly to resolve this.  On Sep 22, 2009 I mailed you a letter (see attached) with a spreadsheet detailing what I owed you and what you owe me. On October 2, 2009 I received an email from your husband Chip (see attached) stating my letter was received and he says he will get back with me. In that email he stated he would address 1/2 of the insurance (that was already brought up in court and resolved) as part of his review.  I was married to you, not Chip, so I have no interest in dealing with him.  That was last October and I have not heard from him (or you) about this matter since.

My feedback…
Chip carries the insurance. He has to get the information via his VPN system and his HR and have the documentation provided to us, which is what was said in court. I don’t believe our order says there is a time limit on this. You could have also asked me to communicate with you, but his message was meant to try and work peacefully. I AM married to Chip and if I choose to let him/have him speak on my behalf, that is my choice. I was not aware that you were waiting for anything from me or that there was any time limit. I did get your spreadsheet and in fact submitted it to the child support office as back up to a) prove that I don’t owe back to January and b) that I do believe it to be correct, except the health insurance stuff.

J.F.:
Rest assured that I also wish that we could have resolved this issue without my having had to go to the District Attorney for help. After waiting months for your reply, I felt I had no choice but to protect the girls’ interests as best I could. Contacting the District Attorney seemed and seems the best way for me to secure the court ordered child support.

My feedback…
I’m not quite understanding this piece of your message. Perhaps I’m too stupid to get it, but what were you expecting for a reply? Again, the insurance is not carried by me and I cannot control the time it takes to get documentation. How about letting me know that if whatever it is you wanted answered wasn’t that you were going to the state? How about that courtesy? After all, I did bail you out of jail for child support non payment to Marie and oh yeah, you slept on our couch when you and Marie were fighting. Oh yeah, you also sued me for custody when you and Marie were married. So, apparently all of that was meaningless to you.

J.F.
In regards to your Item 2:     You say that you have responded to the State with payment plans but it has made no reply. Furthermore, the State has said it will revoke your driver’s license on July 6 due to lack of payment of the child support. Also, you have received a notice of wage garnishment but no garnish has occurred to date.  I, of course, cannot control how a state agency conducts their business. I do not have authority to tell them what to do. However, it is my understanding that they just want to see you paying on a regular basis.
While I can see why you want to establish a payment plan before you write a check, it seems that time is of the essence and making an attempt to pay something may well allow you to keep your license. Revoking your driver’s license is their punishment to get you to pay, not to get you to try to create a plan.  

My feedback…
If I can’t speak to anyone about garnishment or payment, what exactly do you expect me to do? You could control the situation by saying that you and I will work together to take care of the situation and take the state out of it. You could also attempt to assist me in getting help with the state. I don’t see any sort of suggestion to that in this message, which may be a logical step in the right direction. Again, you show no generosity or assistance to me.

J.F.:
Since you are having trouble getting explanations or, for that matter, any response from the State, I will share the District Attorney’s procedure in this case as the staff has explained it to me.

My feedback…
REALLY!?! That’s interesting since I can’t get my caseworker, Ms. Carpenter to speak to me, respond to a fax or get a call back. That’s very interesting that they would lay out the process to you.

J.F.:
The Clark County District Attorney’s office offers a public service to collect child support.  Because you live out of jurisdiction of Clark County, they can only do a wage garnishment and/or ask the State to revoke your driver’s license.  Should child support continue to not be paid after the drivers license revocation, the District Attorney will transfer this case to the Washoe County District Attorney’s office, in your jurisdiction, and proceed to serve you for contempt of court to have you show cause for failure to pay child support. This would happen in the Reno court system, with a Reno judge deciding the outcome.

J.F.:
Well, I guess if I can’t get anyone to reply, I’ll have to wait for that and just endure a driver’s license revocation. However, I will again remind you that no wage garnishment has occurred and they have me in arrears since January. There is no way for me to make that payment and the paperwork states that I must be caught up. So…what would you suggest? Also, not having a drivers license could potentially result in me losing my job since I can’t go to meetings. I suppose that would put us back in court since then I would be generating no income.

J.F.:
In regards to your Item 3:     I am sorry to hear of your financial issues. Unfortunately, I cannot negotiate a court ordered payment. It is what it is, by law. My suggestion is that you start sending something to the District Attorney on a regular basis.  

My feedback…
You have control to remove the state from our situation. You could indeed negotiate a court ordered payment if you wanted to and paperwork could be filed. But again, you only are out for your interests. You and I both know this is possible. After all I said that you could have a short reprieve of child support and you didn’t pay for over 5 years. So yes, it can be changed and negotiated. You and I can make any decision we want and have paperwork filed to show what we want. So, please don’t insult my intelligence by saying otherwise.

J.F.:
Unfortunately, I too have been affected by the recession. You and Chip received the bankruptcy information because I listed the promissory note, and any/all non-child support amounts, as a debt to be considered for discharge. In the March 10, 2009 court order, the judge legally settled any/all past child support I owe you, and with this Chapter13 filing, any
non-child support related debt I may owe you up until June 9, 2010 will be
considered for discharge.
Lastly, in addition to the back child support you owe, we need to create a plan for the $3,500 judgment repayment for the portion of my attorney’s fees that you owe. My attorney advised me to wait until my Chapter 13 bankruptcy is finished, then we plan on filing a motion with Judge Pomerantz to show cause for contempt of court as to why you haven’t made an attempt in over a year to cure this debt. We will be asking for attorney’s fees should it come
to that, and I am told that should be about another $3,000. This is not meant as a threat, I’m just telling you the game plan. However, should you formulate a plan of repayment promptly, and start sending me payments on a regular basis I will accept your plan, without interest. I too want to avoid additional costly legal fees, both for me and for you. Should we go to court, legal interest would most likely accrue. In any case, the judgment payments will not be reported to the District Attorney because they would not be for child support.

My feedback…
How about again just asking me my plans rather than sticking it to me with your “game plan”. It is indeed a threat. This last bit of news is a complete shocker to me. It was my understanding it was also coming out of the amount you owed me. That’s what my attorney (Hoskin) shared with me at the time. So, I was under the understanding that it was not an issue. However, since it is and you have now brought it to my attention, we can work something out, however with child support and everything else that you say you can’t do anything about, it won’t be much. JUST ASK ME! But no, it’s so much better for you to be underhanded and weasel your way back into court to obtain even more money because that is how you operate from your note above. You haven’t once mentioned this payment/debt to me. Interesting how now that you’re filing bankruptcy you are ready and willing to go back to court and sue for fees and interest. Very timely indeed.

Please explain to me how you will address it with the girls when I can’t afford to fly them here to see me or their other siblings. Between a payment plan with you and child support payments, it is a slim to none chance that I will be able to purchase flights.

Really? Influenza A? Swine Flu??? You’ve got to be kidding!

Posted on by Sherri
We were so excited because the girls would be spending 5 weeks with us for their summer visit. It was a little scary and yet exciting to have the family together for a good amount of time. Both girls flew in on 7/13. Kaitlyn had called me earlier that day and said she wasn’t feeling well. I asked her if she was nervous or if she ate something that didn’t agree with her. She said no. I told her to rest, lay down and hopefully it would be better later in the day. So I went to get the girls at the airport. Kaitlyn and Gillian walked out of security and I gave them both huge hugs. It had been over a month since they had been to Reno, so I was really happy to see them. Kaitlyn just looked awful. Pale and she said she definitely didn’t feel good. I stopped at Trader Joes and Longs on the way home because it was near the airport. Kaitlyn stayed in the car and was pretty lethargic. It just didn’t seem right. We got home and I took her temp and it was 102. I started freaking out. Then came all of the other stuff that goes with flu. The poor kid was miserable. She made it through the night and the next day she said her throat hurt. I thought maybe she had strep throat so I wanted to get that taken care of right away if she was going to be sick with something contagious.

We head to the doctor that afternoon. Kaitlyn was still so under the weather. Seeing the doctor was an afternoon ordeal. She was not poked, but boy they swabbed her throat and her nose twice! Poor kids. Turns out that Kaitlyn didn’t have strep, but did have Influenza A flu. The next bit of news was that it could possibly be the same strain as Swine Flu. WONDERFUL! So the doctor said since it could be swine flu, we ALL as in all 8 of us needed to take Tamiflu just in case it is swine flu. So she wrote us 8 prescriptions. I couldn’t believe it was happening. OMG. The girls had just arrived the night before! I was beyond angry that the time was being eaten with illness rather than family time. Kaitlyn was really great about not touching the boys when she arrived. She herself said she wasn’t feeling good and didn’t want to pass on any germs. So along with illness, we waited at the pharmacy for 2 hours to get all of the medicine. The copay bill came to $307.oo. That was with our insurance. Kaitlyn and I headed home after that…now 7 p.m. in the evening. She’s feeling crappy and I’ve simply had enough. All of us did our job and did the Tamiflu. The boys had liquid and apparently it didn’t taste good. Quite the chore to get it into them. A few days later we did learn it was swine flu. Wow. I certainly had quite a bit of anger towards her dad because he had been sick a few days prior.

On trial and the tragic state of the legal system

Posted on by Sherri

2/24 – I wanted to jot down some memories of court. It’s been 30 days to the day today. The mood is lighter but the pain runs deep. Not just for me, but for Chip too. We stayed at Deann and Carlos house. Surprisingly that morning of court I felt confident. A strange calm that had been far different from the November court date. We ate a McDonald’s breakfast and headed to the courthouse. We met with Chuck and went over some details. I asked a few insignificant questions that seemed important at the time. Up we went to court. John’s attorney was late…surprise surprise…NOT. Prokopius is such a slime. It was a good feeling to watch John sit there by himself. Finally, 20 min. late Prokopius showed. He said he was in another court with a “quick matter” at 8:30 that made him late. Whatever!!! We began with Chuck going first. He called John to testify and attempted to pick his financial irresponsibilities apart. John seemed unruffled as he said it was all left to his account. How convenient is that? John was composed. He said his concerns were my drinking…all the bottles on the curb for recycling…wow…nice that we have a conscience about the environment considering we are alcoholics….interesting. John said Gillian said I wasn’t throwing up as much. He talked about Fred and Celia being in our home and mom being a bad influence. He said I was erratic and not organized. He said that I didn’t give them what they needed. That Kaitlyn and I had a troubled relationship. That Kaitlyn didn’t want to come to Reno. Said I had a preference for Gillian. Prokopius didn’t ask any questions back. He reserved them for later in the afternoon. Diane D’Amore then appeared. She was so stupid. Said the same crap as her deposition. That so much of John’s unusual, warped past “wasn’t relevant”. We had to pay her 1k for 2 hours of working/waiting. That is the biggest racket ever. She has no problem taking people’s money. Unbelievable. It was great to hear that the girls would thrive and she repeatedly, without coaxing, said “I never said Sherri was a bad mother”. She admitted the girls would thrive either place. Basically her opinion was…it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Pathetic indeed. Chip then testified. Chuck questioned his role, his opinions and job situation. Chuck talked about our failed Quiznos and the financial ramifications of that. Prokopius asked a few questions back. The only one that was compelling was “who are you going home with?”, indicating that Chip would always side with me because he is my spouse. God, John’s lawyer is was slimy. After his testimony, Chip could stay and watch the rest of the proceedings. We had a quick lunch and then it was my turn. I answered questions calmly and tried to interject more than just yes or now. We were all over the map. Child support, the kid, my job, the boys…I evaded him well on the topic of the boys. Prokopius said he must be a handful. My reply was “we have a great support system”. Take that you jackass. I had no issues with John’s attorney. It was the judges line of questioning that made me feel insecure. She asked if I would split them up, what schedule I would want and why I did a few things. Although it made sense in my head, my answers seemed insecure, garbled, unsure. I was trying to communicate that I was up for negotiation and none of it came out right. I talked about John’s controlling ways…his making medical decisions without consulting me. His underhanded ways he’d do things to control me.